Tips For Wearing Heels For Those Who Do Not

After my mortifying experience with high heels (see previous posts), I have compiled a list of tips to prevent you from also looking like an ass while wearing heels. You’re welcome.

• Start Small. I mean real small. A half inch or even quarter inch heel, also known as kitten heels, are a good way to get some height and add variety to your wardrobe without having to walk like a yeti. If you’re really brave, an inch high heel isn’t too difficult either.

• Practice Makes Perfect. This tired old statement is true, especially when it comes to walking in heels. After you purchase your heels but before you wear them out in the world, practice walking in them in the privacy of your own home, preferably when you’re not expecting company. This way, if you do look like an idiot, no one will ever know but you and your cat. You’ll feel much more comfortable in your heels when it comes time to wear them out in public.

• Wedges Are Your Friends. Wedges give you the same height and style as a heel, except they’re easier to walk in because they’re an even level across the bottom. Like a platform, but actually fashionable. Now I’m not saying find the highest wedges in the store, slap them on, and be on your way. That is the exact recipe for looking like an ass. See above tips before running wild in your wedges, but you will find you can start higher and practice less before you get the hang of them.

• Ease Into It. When you’re practicing, you’re obviously going to have to wear your heels frequently. But this does not mean you have to wear them to work, class, or in public every single day. You will get sore feet, sore calves, and shin splints. My calves have yet to recover from my barely three hours of wearing those 3-inchers. Start small and slow, then increase height and frequency over time. I know what you’re thinking, and yes, I was always that good at math.

• If All Else Fails… Throw on those sneakers and work it! You don’t need high heels to be hip, fashionable, or sexy. There are a variety of flats, boots, sneakers, and sandals out there for every style and every outfit. “But Christine, heels are sexy and I want to look sexy too!"  Did you not just hear me?  You don’t need heels to look or feel sexy. All you need to do is grow a self-esteem, slap on those flip-flops, and head out on the town! Remember: You make the shoes, the shoes don’t make you.